When the Earth Quakes

earth·quake

ˈərTHˌkwāk/

noun

1.      a sudden and violent shaking of the ground, sometimes causing great destruction, as a result of movements within the earth's crust or volcanic action.

2.      synonyms:

3.      earth tremor, tremor, shock, foreshock, aftershock, convulsion, seismic activity; informalquake"assessing the damage from the earthquake"

4.      a great upheaval.

Sometimes when the earth quakes there is a clear shift in the earths crust.  There is one such place in Nanaimo on a short walk through the arbutus trees.  

In life, sometimes events, good or bad, happen that shake everything up leaving a crack in our lives. These life events create a time before and a time after.  When a shift occurs there is a scrambling and adjusting to figure out what that new future is.  

When these shifts occur in my life I  try to make new goals, visualize and pick choices that ensure my past resembles my future as much as possible. In hopes that my future will bring me as much happiness as my life before the shift.

There have been many, many quakes in my life that created a shift that altered the trajectory of my life....some more than others.

Sadly there were shifts that occurred and I tried to go on like nothing happened and found the effects of my (sweeping it under the rug) come back to haunt me years later.

Some cracks that were created, I took the time to figure out how things had changed, grieved the loss of expectations and adjust my behaviour and plans for the future.

A few life-quakes have had after shocks that created new cracks that had to be confronted again and again.  

The cracks in my life that these quakes created all have a past and a future.  I thought the crack was just a line that divided the past and the future but what I have realized is that the crack was the now.  A time I need to give myself to discover who I am now and where do I want to go from here.

Some adjustments are small and take very little time to figure out what the change in myself is and who this new me is...other changes have been more life altering.  

I am in a small crack right now as I have moved back to the mainland.  I am loving the adjustment but who I was when I lived here in my 20's is so different from the woman I am now.  My friends have moved so I am on my own but close to many friends and family with whom I feel safe to explore who this new me is.  

I am now in a place ... in a crack ... where I feel very positive but I am curious as to who I am now and what do I want in my life.  What do I like, separate from trying to please someone by doing what they want.

This exploring always leads me to walking.