Wish 3
I wish that others would accept me the way I am.
I am not the easiest to live with or spend lots of time with because I need so much alone time. I warn people and let them know but that doesn't change the fact that after awhile they get annoyed with who I am and want me to be different.
I remember when I started hanging out with one of my friends and I said I was really annoying. He said, "Charlene I could never find you annoying". Then a few months later all I did was tell him where to park and he stopped the car and said, "You are the most annoying person I have ever met!" smugly I said, "I told you".
I have been spending the last almost 5 years living alone and before that I lived with Robin but he was gone 1-3 months at a time.
My counsellor says I have it lucky as I have an easy explanation, just tell people I am a writer. I am in my head all the time, spending time with people draws me out when I actually like mulling around in my brain figuring out some kind of scenario in my head.
I also strongly believe in living my feelings and not covering my emotions up, so some people consider me quite moody. How can I understand an emotion if I haven't felt it, identified the feeling, explored the emotion to the point where I can articulate it and put the feeling into words? This is a process that it so part of me that I have made a profession of it.
Walking down a hidden path in False Creek has me pondering my thoughts and helps me shift the attention of how others feel about me to myself and my own power of change, by how I look at a situation and my attitude. If I would stop worrying what others thought and leave that on their shoulders then I can accept the responsibility for myself. I can accept myself as I am and not expect to fill others needs. That is their responsibility. It is for me to accept myself. People can choose to have me around or not.
So my wish is to love and accept myself exactly as I am and who I am becoming and not worry about others expectations.
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