Saying Goodbye

I hate change and I mean HATE. So saying goodbye has always been hard for me.  When things get comfortable I want them to stay the same forever and I mean forever!  Every single house I have been to in the last 2 months I could have easily taken up residence and rooted myself into their spare room.

I know there is the high possibility that I will see everyone again but still leaving their homes feels heart wrenching.  I guess that is why we have the ceremony of saying goodbye so we can acknowledge our gratitude for the time spent and mark the change happening within the goodbye.  It is saying goodbye with gratitude; a smile, some tears, hugs and a blessing for what is coming that helps me move to the next home with a full heart.

The hardest goodbye is always death.  The permanence feels absolutely horrible!!  We mark this time with funerals, celebrations, wakes and lots and lots of tears, then a new future follows.  I remember saying, "why not just let everything stay the same then maybe I won't feel so sad", but that didn't work.  Maybe if I totally change things up, but that didn't work.  I wanted to say goodbye with gratitude.

I was grateful for the people in my life who passed away and I had to find a way to show my gratitude.  Some people put up benches or start scholarships, others put their energy into a cause to raise awareness.  I put into words the stories and memories I had with the ones I loved, who passed away.  This process has let me say goodbye with gratitude by recording their presence in my life!

The non-fiction book I am sharing right now, "Walking Away From A Life I Love" is the book I wrote for my husband.  "Marking the Years" is the fiction book I wrote to record the memories with my first best friend and my first boyfriend.  "Child of Oz" is a screen play  I wrote for my cousin.  Writing down memories that can be remembered and cherished for years to come helps me say goodbye with a grateful heart.

When I say goodbye through writing I find that I am not just saying I am grateful for them in my life I am showing my gratitude through an action.

Do you know when you make a meal for someone and they thoroughly enjoy it? They just don't say thank-you and take a few bites.  They get in there and eat it all and then ask for another helping.  Their gratitude is in their actions, they don't even need words.

Or...

I can say how grateful I am to have a body that is healthy and mobile but it is when I use my legs to walk and let them bring me to the most amazing places that I am BEING grateful.

Spending quality time with people and being present with no timelines or agendas has me living in a place of gratitude.

I want every single person that I have spent time with, who have fed me, housed me, walked with me and had deep conversations with, know that I am extremely grateful for this time!!!!